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Wow. How do I even get my mind around this idea? I’m a dad.
I have to sit down every time I think about it. This has got to be the most exciting thought I have ever dwelt on. A little boy is coming out of our love story…quite literally out of Ann! Only God could come up with something this amazing. There are a million very deep ideas going through my head.
I can’t wait to meet this little one. I can’t wait to teach him so many things. How fun will it be to someday take him climbing in my favorite ranges. Most of my desires dwell here. There are so many places that I want to take this little one. So many things that I can’t wait to show him. I already can imagine the family road trips of us singing our hearts out driving down the 101. I get a smile just thinking about the conversations we will have. I hope that getting to know him is as exciting as it is to get to know Ann. This is going to be the best season of our wild love story so far.
Maybe this is how it felt for God when he made Adam and Eve. He must have been ecstatic to get to know them and to experience their love. He gave them the entire world as a wedding present. I’m sure He couldn’t wait to go on adventures with them. Can you even imagine?
It’s no wonder it hurt God so much when they disobeyed Him. I suppose this explains a new fear that I have recently acquired. I dread the idea that my son grows up and calls me a loser. Oh, how painful that would be. Just considering this possibility makes the world so much more raw. Somehow I had never thought this before. What if our little one doesn’t love and respect us? I can’t currently think of anything worse. And like never before I am faced with the dilemma of love and choice. You know the great question of “Why would God make a world where His creation could destroy it?” This has pondered many philosophers. It ponders even me sometimes. It presupposes the many questions of why God would allow evil, sickness, and injustice. Questions that all of us must wrestle with. But I have recently gained a new perspective, a new point of view. I can now see this dilemma as a father.
The Trinity was having such a wonderful story that they gained a deep desire to bring others into it. They didn’t want automatons as servants. They wanted children. They wanted friends. It has been said that no amount of power in the universe can ever make someone love another.
I’m sure that God could have made a world where all of His subjects just automatically adored Him. However, His desire was for relationship. He wanted to experience beauty, intimacy, and adventure with His new creation. Being a father has helped me to look back and see it now as a son. Some of my favorite childhood memories were little moments of spending time doing things with my dad. Some of the best days of my life have been off in the wild mountains hearing the voice the Lord, worshiping Him. Those must have been the best moments as well for my dad and for Yahweh during our relationship. Wow… that brings tears to my eyes.
God is a father who wants a to spend time with me. And not just “kind of” wants to, He literally moved heaven and earth to restore His relationship with all of us; He fiercely wants to know us. And yet the dilemma ensues, for love to be real choice must also be. And just because our Heavenly Father is omnipotent He can not do anything. God can create matter out of nothing but can not create a square circle. There is just no such thing as world where love is real and choice is not available. And even after His children grew up, called Him a loser, and handed the entire creation over to His enemy, He did not give up. He pursued and He loved us even when we hated Him.
So did my dad. Some of my deepest childhood regrets were the times when I dishonored my dad. I suppose it’s all part of the story. It’s something that I have to look forward to. Someday I will get the opportunity to love my son even while he dishonors me. Someday I will get to represent to him what God has done for all of us. I pray for the patience and love to endure this part of our relationship. I suppose though painful, how glorious these moments will be.