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I feel like every couple should have a life mission or a theme to their relationship – something that defines their purpose as a couple. We found ours in Jeff’s 1st and 2nd Samuel class at Grace University. They had just finished reading through 1 Samuel 14. The Philistines were camped on one side of a canyon, and the Israelites were camped on the other side. Jonathan and his armor-bearer decided to cross over and fight them.
1 Samuel 14:6-7
“Jonathan said to his armor-bearer ‘Come, let us go over to the garrison of these uncircumcised. It may be that the Lord will work for us, for nothing can hinder the Lord from saving by many or by few.’ And his armor-bearer said to him, ‘Do all that is in your heart. Do as you wish. Behold, I am with you heart and soul.’”
Jeff and I talked about how a relationship is like that. The man is the warrior. That’s what God created him to be – to protect and provide for his wife and family. And I think that the woman is the armor-bearer to her man. Yes, she is a warrior too, but a different kind. See, armor-bearers fought alongside their warriors in battle. They carried their extra weapons or armor and watched their back in case they got attacked from behind.
There is a certain fierceness about a warrior and his armor-bearer. Why don’t we live with that same kind of fierceness today? After all, we are warriors if we belong to God. Not only do we fight against the prince of this world and his lies, we fight FOR each other as husband and wife. There is also a sense of immense trust between the armor-bearer and the warrior. The warrior trusted no one else but his armor-bearer to complete the mission with him. And even though this idea was really crazy, the armor-bearer was with his warrior “heart and soul”. I just love that. That has become something we say to each other and it’s like this deeper understanding for our trust for one another. Well, Jonathan and his armor-bearer climbed over this cliff and fought the Philistines and whooped their butts. Don’t you think that might have been a little fun for them? To experience God’s favor and just the adventure of that moment?
So what do these roles look like in our everyday lives? Most of the time for us it means having each other’s backs through the grime of life. If I have a hard day Jeff might do the dishes for me or get me a cup of tea and visa versa. It also means that if he has a crazy idea or goal, I say, “Go for it,” because I have confidence in my man and I trust him. Jeff and I have made it our commitment as a coupe to live together with a fierceness for the Lord, and this passion affects our everyday.
These verses have become our purpose as a couple. We will fight fiercely FOR one another. We will fight fiercely against the enemy. We will deeply trust each other. And we will seek adventure and fun together.