There are a lot of things God did not make me. He did not design me to be a doctor or an engineer, nor did He design me to cut down big trees or run for president. It’s easy to list the things I’m not. It’s really hard to define who I am with a career path survey. I could do a lot of different things, and I’ve already done a lot of things. But if I had to define myself I would define myself as…don’t laugh…a professional big dreamer. I am always dreaming of new ideas, new possibilities, new ways to make the world better, new adventures to take my wife on, and new ways to care for the needs of others. I love helping other people dream too, and I always end up being asked to give my input on creative projects. I have a journal next to my bed that I write new ideas in. Ann loves my dreams and the ambitious, optimistic side of me. She also loves the places that I take her to and the new possibilities that we find ourselves in, but every great gift or talent has its hard side.
Being a dreamer isn’t always easy. And it’s certainly not always easy for my lovely wife. I sometimes dream up ideas big and small and want to immediately pursue them or dream them through, and Ann is always kind of just starting to get a handle on the last idea when a new one starts. Our lives have so much possibility and I want to harness all of it, so I tend to overcommit myself to my own projects.
I think it’s hard for Ann to always identify with all of my big ideas. I love dreaming with her and I love helping her dreams come true. I need to learn to be more gentle with her and to lead her by helping her capture the vision before I set off. I need to better fight for her and help her see the vision instead of plowing ahead. Becuase no matter how successful I am, what’s the point if my marriage suffers from it in the meantime?
I heard the song “Lead Me” by Sanctus Real on the radio and it evoked the desire in me to better lead Ann into our dreams and to resist the big ideas that might make her feel excluded. My biggest dream is that Ann finds a life that she was made for.
God is using Matt Hammitt to reach out to dreaming men. Thanks for your words, Matt!
