It’s so easy to daydream about what’s to come or to relive old memories, but living in the moment is perhaps one of the hardest things to do. I know, I know…it really does sound cliché, but isn’t it so true? Don’t you have memories that you would love to relive? I sure do. I can only relish them in my mind. I’m striving to be careful not to take the moments that I have for granted.
I’m getting married in just under three months, and I’m suddenly starting to realize that my time being single is dwindling away. This is not to say that I’m dreading getting married. Actually, it’s the other way around! I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. I’m excited to be Joe’s intimate lover and pursue a million adventures with him. We are meant for each other and I am amazed at how God brought us together. Honestly, I have an amazing life ahead of me.
However, to become one flesh with Joe will mean that I will be leaving the largest part of my life now behind, a life that has brought me so much joy and fulfillment. Being married is a major change for me. Let me explain.
First of all, it’s important to understand the geographic constraints of Joe and I’s relationship. Separated by nearly 2000 miles (that’s 25 hours of constant driving at 80 miles per hour), Joe and I have been in a very long distance relationship for almost five years. I admit that we have had more time together than you would think, but the majority of our lives are spent far away from each other. Joe and I have learned to be very independent people in regards to our relationship. We aren’t able to see each other or spend time together every day, so cell phones and Skype must suffice. We have learned how to maintain our own separate lives at home as individuals and our lives together as a couple, something that is hard for any couple to do. And the most difficult part is still yet to come when each of us will have to sacrifice parts of our own story to be wed together.
Life right now, to me, is bittersweet. I have just moments left before I am married (70 days to be exact), which means I have just moments left here in Rapid City, a place I have called home for my entire life. While I literally know this town like the back of my hand, it seems that each year this place becomes something new. And that’s what I love about it. Rapid City never seems to get too boring. I’m constantly meeting new people through the college or the outdoor community, and my interests have really changed and morphed over the last six years as a result. At the same time, however, Rapid City isn’t a huge city where it’s easy to get lost in your own sphere of reality. I often run in to people I have known since kindergarten, and my three closest friends I have known since elementary and high school. When the Bible says “leave your father and mother and cleave onto your mate” for both of us that will mean to leave our city, too.
I have a handful of other things I’ll miss as well. I’m going to miss my hairless cat George jumping onto my bed each night and burrowing under the sheets to cuddle. I’ll miss relaxing in front of our fireplace while doing homework. I’ll miss boarding with my dad at Terry Peak on Saturdays. Gosh, I’m going to miss laughing till my sides ache while we give Harry (my other hairless cat of course) a bath in the sink. I’m going to miss my father’s invitation to go boating on the weekends. Or studying at the school library with Kim and Halley till they flick the lights to tell us they are closing. I’m going to miss going to Armadillo’s and having a good chat on the benches while we wait for the newest ice cream flavor or a cookie dough shake. I’ll miss walking every dog at the Humane Society after class. I’ll miss long, winding drives through the Black Hills with the windows down and the music playing loud enough to scare the buffalo. A part of me will even miss going to school. There are so many simple things that I am going to miss most like the smell of spring, mowing the lawn in my sports bra, playing basketball in the driveway, late night taco bell runs with Kim, afternoon naps, camping at Pactola lake at a moment’s notice, and a good evening bike ride through the park. There truly are so many more little things I will miss. Too many to list.
I am trying hard to cherish the last moments that I have with my family, friends, and even by myself. So often we find ourselves looking back on an experience and thinking about how awesome it was or about how it was one of the most valuable memories we’ve had. But when we are actually living out that moment in time, it was just another day going by. Maybe if I am deliberate to enjoy each passing moment they won’t pass by as quickly.
If you notice me humming away to the radio with a smile as I buzz through my favorite parts of town with my windows down it’s not because I’m crazy but rather I want to relish every last bit of my time at home.
